Everyone knows what it’s like to experience loss in a relationship. That painful feeling of losing someone you loved – could be family, old friends, or even a promising romance – it hurts.
Many people come into our lives and leave indelible impressions. Seen from a spiritual standpoint, they come to guide us, give us purpose, teach us or help work out unfinished business. Some stay longer while some leave too soon.
While it’s understandable to be hurt, we owe it to ourselves to not live in pain, sorrow and loneliness. What is important is to improve the quality of our relationships. And to do that, we need three simple elements.
Taught by Master Choa Kok Sui, “love is the food that will make your soul grow.”
Every meaningful relationship has love at its foundation. Whether it’s the love towards family and friends, or the loving reverence to your Teacher, or the love of the work you share with your colleagues, the energy of love is what attracts and sustains the relationship.
It’s no secret that people are attracted to those with a big heart.
In order to receive love, the basic rule is that you need to give love first. It is impossible to be angry and resentful and expect the other person to love you back. Express your love and appreciation to those around you. See how they bloom.
Be Willing to Sacrifice
When we love someone, we usually sacrifice the little things. Why? Because it makes us happy when we see our loved ones smile.
True love is undeterred by hardship. You may have heard stories of people sacrificing their careers to be with their loved ones, or of parents sacrificing their food to take care of their children.
True love requires willpower – the willpower to stand true and stand strong even when things are uncomfortable. Just because the situation is difficult isn’t a good reason to abandon the relationship. It needs work. And that needs willpower.
Be Quick to Forgive
Relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. There are times when they become sour, bitter and difficult. The remedy is forgiveness.
“No matter how sweet and wonderful your Beloved is… there will always be shortcomings. Roses always come with thorns.” Master Choa Kok Sui
No one is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. People on the spiritual path who have decided to accelerate their growth make lots of mistakes. But that isn’t an excuse to keep erring. In fact, it is a mark of spiritual development to be able to forgive first and let go.
Forgiveness isn’t about who is right or wrong. It is about doing the right thing. When someone is offended, they tend to think about the offender and the unhappy incident repeatedly until they have zero peace of mind left. This makes them irritable and prone to snapping at others, thereby ruining their relationships. Forgiveness makes a person feel light by releasing the pent-up feelings and emotions.
The key is to forgive and forgive quickly. What we are talking about is inner forgiveness. Taught by Master Choa Kok Sui, inner forgiveness is for everybody while outer forgiveness is on a case to case basis and this is because of the importance of keeping order.
The bottom line is that problems happen in every relationship. We can choose to solve the problems or we can escape altogether. The lessons won’t change until we learn. In fact, they will keep getting more and more intense until we’re forced to face our shortcomings and overcome them.
But with a bit of love, light and will, we have the power to make the best of any relationship we’re in.